More and more I'm getting the feeling that friends aren't that easy to keep. Much as I hate losing any single one of them, maybe some things just don't happen the way I'd like them to. It's just one of life's ways isn't it.
We've been through this many times right, aren't you tired? Oh right, why should you be considering you haven't really been trying. Maybe our days in secondary school are too far away to bring back warm feelings now. Or maybe it's just the way we don't talk at all now. Or maybe it's just that we don't really have much in common. Maybe it's pointless trying to pinpoint the reason, because if you'd thought there was something wrong, you'd have already tried. But you haven't, and I don't think you ever will.
We might as well be Strangers.
I thank the people who were there with me through my emo days.
Anita, the funny lady who makes me laugh with the things she say and her supernice messages. Hah I seriously was surprised when I got her smses and I felt warm and fuzzy in my heart. How can she be an ah lian when she's this thoughtful? :D
Lilian, I know she's going through a rough patch herself, and it was real nice of her to drop me that lovely sms. I know she'll be strong through all of this. Go lilian go!
Rachel, haha one of the main causes of my state of emo. I'd hate her for that, but then she's too lovable for me to do that. She's not here because she's somewhere else, but if she were chances are I'd be out with her right now because it's FRIDAY NIGHT! Or maybe I'd be out with her tomorrow night. Oh man, I miss her.
Johan, the drinker (of mineral water, of course) and the one who doesn't sleep much. Oh well what can I say, he's funny, and he's slightly capable of making me feel better. Slightly. But that capability increases with more drinks. But then again maybe it's the drinks ha.
Jianwei, hey babe! I'm sorry about the time I got all moody while we were at Tampines Mall, you were really nice la and I felt damn guilty after we left the place. She makes a great listener. Haha you're always so bubbly and warm! :)
Heler, sunshine boy who is able to make me feel better, he's the one who made it possible for me to see the brighter picture. He makes me laugh with all the lame things he says, and I am amused by the similarities we share.
EMO DAYS AWAY AWAY AWAAAAAY!
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
In and Out - Once Is Enough
I see the things that happen in life, and they make me scared, afraid.
They make me want to cry, to scream in anguish, to bury my head in the pillow and suffocate.
They make me stay awake at night, when it's all dark outside, and they all come out to play, to play in my head, and in this heat, it's unbearable. I need to sleep.
When it's light outside all about, the song keeps playing on loop, repeat, it continues, it sings "you could be happy, you could be happy"
Yes I could be happy, I could be happy if I were carefree. But if I were carefree, I'd be inhuman.
When life comes to a standstill, and other people's lives go by, it's not right, you don't feel good, but at the same time it feels good too. It comes in spasms, like you know it's not right, but it feels right, but then again sometimes it's all wrong.
Today on the escalator up I had a dizzy spell. I'd never had any dizzy spell that serious in all my eighteen years. I couldn't walk straight, it was like I was drunk. Drunk on something unheard of, drunk on the song on repeat, drunk on heat, drunk on everything happening in other people's lives.
It sings "more than anything I want to see you go."
I feel the wind blowing against my hair and it is not a nice feeling like they say it should be. In fact it is one of the most horrid things I've ever experienced.
It must be that time of the month because everywhere I turn everything I see reminds me of how we used to be. And remembering makes me feel so bad. It doesn't always make me feel bad, but today I felt really bad.
Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god. "And for the tiniest moment it's all not true."
I'm scared.
"You Could Be Happy" - Snow Patrol
You could be happy and I won't know
But you weren't happy the day I watched you go
(You're going, you're leaving, but you'll be back and we'll meet again and laugh and dance and scream and talk)
And all the things that I wished I had not said
Are played on lips 'till it's madness in my head
(It's all the things I wished you had not said, that are being played inside my head)
Is it too late to remind you how we were
But not our last days of silence, screaming, blur
(Don't do that, please don't)
Most of what I remember makes me sure
I should have stopped you from walking out the door
(My memories are tinted with that shade of red, it makes everything look damn good)
You could be happy, I hope you are
You made me happier than I'd been by far
(The black spots blot out the angst, and they spread into the inner depths of the chambers)
Somehow everything I own smells of you
And for the tiniest moment it's all not true
(My senses are dead I'm so sorry)
Do the things that you always wanted to
Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do
(I need something to re(lie) on)
More than anything I want to see you go
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world
(Go, go on, I love you)
They make me want to cry, to scream in anguish, to bury my head in the pillow and suffocate.
They make me stay awake at night, when it's all dark outside, and they all come out to play, to play in my head, and in this heat, it's unbearable. I need to sleep.
When it's light outside all about, the song keeps playing on loop, repeat, it continues, it sings "you could be happy, you could be happy"
Yes I could be happy, I could be happy if I were carefree. But if I were carefree, I'd be inhuman.
When life comes to a standstill, and other people's lives go by, it's not right, you don't feel good, but at the same time it feels good too. It comes in spasms, like you know it's not right, but it feels right, but then again sometimes it's all wrong.
Today on the escalator up I had a dizzy spell. I'd never had any dizzy spell that serious in all my eighteen years. I couldn't walk straight, it was like I was drunk. Drunk on something unheard of, drunk on the song on repeat, drunk on heat, drunk on everything happening in other people's lives.
It sings "more than anything I want to see you go."
I feel the wind blowing against my hair and it is not a nice feeling like they say it should be. In fact it is one of the most horrid things I've ever experienced.
It must be that time of the month because everywhere I turn everything I see reminds me of how we used to be. And remembering makes me feel so bad. It doesn't always make me feel bad, but today I felt really bad.
Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god. "And for the tiniest moment it's all not true."
I'm scared.
"You Could Be Happy" - Snow Patrol
You could be happy and I won't know
But you weren't happy the day I watched you go
(You're going, you're leaving, but you'll be back and we'll meet again and laugh and dance and scream and talk)
And all the things that I wished I had not said
Are played on lips 'till it's madness in my head
(It's all the things I wished you had not said, that are being played inside my head)
Is it too late to remind you how we were
But not our last days of silence, screaming, blur
(Don't do that, please don't)
Most of what I remember makes me sure
I should have stopped you from walking out the door
(My memories are tinted with that shade of red, it makes everything look damn good)
You could be happy, I hope you are
You made me happier than I'd been by far
(The black spots blot out the angst, and they spread into the inner depths of the chambers)
Somehow everything I own smells of you
And for the tiniest moment it's all not true
(My senses are dead I'm so sorry)
Do the things that you always wanted to
Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do
(I need something to re(lie) on)
More than anything I want to see you go
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world
(Go, go on, I love you)
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