Eternal Noob Updates

She woke up in darkness. Fumbled around for her handphone. No new messages. That was fine with her.
She got up in darkness one more time. Fumbled around for her handphone. No new messages. That was still fine with her.
She decided it was time to wake up. The time was three thirty a.m. She got out of bed and switched off the air conditioner. It was time to brush her teeth and to wash her face and to go online. The song was on repeat in her discman, spinning spinning spinning and spinning. Life was starting to get really turbulent.

Friday was a quiet day. In the morning there were thick dark clouds in the sky. Ants were scurrying around doing their own business and being stepped on without even seeing it coming. It was going to rain. In the forest the aardvarks and the centipedes crawled around trying to find shelter from the impending rain. No chance of sun.
Earthworms and pancakes are made of the same thing.
Matter.
What matters most is that she was happy.
But I don't think she was a happy person. No.

Four a.m. She was online. And so was he. But that didn't matter. It didn't make a difference. She was feeling very anti-social then, even more so now. She was tired. Sleepy. Exhausted. She might be coming down with a flu. Or she might be coming down with her period. But whatever. As long as she was happy.
But I don't think she was a happy person. No.
Maybe it was the song that was on repeat in her discman. It was a sad song. A Sad Song for a Sad Her.

How can she ever be happy when there's someone around. No, it's getting harder for her to be happy. Shit. Eighteen years of age should never be the case. It should never happen. Birthdays aren't meant to be celebrated. Friends should always reply messages. And the whole of mankind should never fall in love. There should be no school so that she can play around all day long and live life the way it should be led.
School is a conspiracy between the King of Suffering and the Queen of Sadism. I bet love is too.
She thinks the world is flawed.
Man is flawed.
But yet time is flawless.
Unless you consider the fact that it makes people forget.
But then again that would be a human flaw wouldn't it.
No, I don't think she was a happy person. No.

Eternal Noob of the Eternal World

Donny discovers a disturbing trend. The frequency of Donny's entries fall into a rhythm that closely follows Donny's mood cycles. If Donny's happy, Donny updates. If Donny's unhappy, Donny updates. If Donny's feeling like crap, all the more Donny updates. What a simple person in this simple world. Wait, what a joke-- simple world. Donny thinks that a simple world is a fallacy. Who in the right mind would say that this is a simple world? Okay Donny just did, but then again Donny's mind is kinda dysfunctional and screwed so that does not count as someone who's in the right mind.

The reason behind my entire dysfunctionality is simple, but yet at the same time incomprehensible, exhausting, consuming and plainly irritating. I am irritated by the fact that the emotional value attatched to the root cause, having been something rather insignificant and inconsequential, has morphed into something that is rather overwhelming and choking. Yes, there is nothing more appropriate than 'choking'. I can't even breathe without thinking of it. It's like a brainworm, putting itself on eternal repeat until my entire mind can hardly withstand the continuity of such a fundamental problem that it breaks down in disarray and my life goes into the pittest of all doldrums.
I have just laid down the foundation for my drowning.