Diaries of The Spectacle Girl
I feel like I've been brutally detached from my life since I'd started working at a certain optical shop in town. Most of the time I'm down. I'm literally bogged down by my job, and I don't want to stay there long enough to actually get used to it. I've got no time for my friends, my family, my blog, my xbox (I mean Phillip's xbox), my music, my books and all the other simple things that I'd really like to do, like watching a television programme that I really like, or to sit and talk with my family on weekends. Instead, guess where I am most of the time? Compliments if you guessed at work. Which is why it's becoming such a dread for me.
Day in day out I stand on my poor (stinky) feet in the shop, serving the rich (and nasty, the rich and nice, and the not-so-rich and nasty, and the not-so-rich and nice) customers who come into the shop. I've seen those bad cases of snob whereby customers speak in loud demanding tones. I've seen those bad cases of miscommunication whereby customers can't speak english, but try to. I've seen those bad cases of greed whereby customers (get this) DEMAND that they be given freebies, freebies and more freebies. Of course there are the pleasant customers who speak in pleasant tones, who joke around and are pleasantly nice. But still.
And then there are the colleagues. I love the colleagues, but they're not enough. Colleagues aren't like friends. Colleagues aren't like family. Colleagues aren't like the boy. Although maybe if I stay on they might become like friends. Okay actually they are like friends, they're lovely friends. Lovely people. But they're not people I love. (This is hard to put across. I can't seem to get it right.)
One thing I took away from the job is Learning From Mistakes. This holds especially true for this job because there were alot of mistakes I made, and the experiences taught me not to make them again. It's like most of the time I could feel my brain making mental notes about the mistakes made and how not to commit them ever again. Yea so I guess it was cool in that sense.
And I learnt alot. I really really learnt alot from the work I'd done in the shop. Not just about the spectacles, sunglasses and contact lenses that I deal with per se, I've learnt stuff about working life, about relationships, about the importance of time, about thrift, about tolerance, and plenty more. I like all that I have learnt, and I don't regret working this job, even though I have many complaints about it. But no regrets, overall, that is.
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Monday, January 15, 2007
There's No Need for Apollo(gies).
Man.
You do crazy things.
You go ahead and do crazy things and then you attempt to reason your crazy behaviour with even crazier theories no they're not theories they're lame excuses.
You make excuses excuses excuses they're not even reasons they're excuses excuses excuses to serve as covers, as screens, as absolvents to cover up your blunder in darkness, to shield your mistakes from discriminating stares, to absolve yourself of all blame.
You lie, you cheat, you scream, you insist, you argue, you cry, you shout, you fight, you replay, you ask you ask you just keep asking why how when what what what now what now what you don't reflect you don't reflect you refuse to reflect you refuse to admit you remain unquestioning YOU DON'T REFLECT.
You start a project you think it's interesting you think it's interesting after one day you think it's interesting after one week you think it's interesting after one month but how about after one year your interest doesn't follow through your enthusiasm can fool no one you don't follow through and then you start all over again you and your crazy antics ideas gimmicks with your renewed enthusiasm you hook them in you ensnare them and you drop them.
You drop them. You forget them. You don't need them. You hang on to your existing ties and you come back only when you need them. Why? Why? You and your crazy ideas, your crazy behaviour, your nonsensical rants and your irrational thinking it drives drives drives others up the wall to the end into oblivion. You need to think you always have to think it gets you going you have to find the right path don't find excuses it's pathetic it's Pathetic it's PATHETIC. Get on your feet you have to find it search for it seek it. Be it.
You do crazy things.
You go ahead and do crazy things and then you attempt to reason your crazy behaviour with even crazier theories no they're not theories they're lame excuses.
You make excuses excuses excuses they're not even reasons they're excuses excuses excuses to serve as covers, as screens, as absolvents to cover up your blunder in darkness, to shield your mistakes from discriminating stares, to absolve yourself of all blame.
You lie, you cheat, you scream, you insist, you argue, you cry, you shout, you fight, you replay, you ask you ask you just keep asking why how when what what what now what now what you don't reflect you don't reflect you refuse to reflect you refuse to admit you remain unquestioning YOU DON'T REFLECT.
You start a project you think it's interesting you think it's interesting after one day you think it's interesting after one week you think it's interesting after one month but how about after one year your interest doesn't follow through your enthusiasm can fool no one you don't follow through and then you start all over again you and your crazy antics ideas gimmicks with your renewed enthusiasm you hook them in you ensnare them and you drop them.
You drop them. You forget them. You don't need them. You hang on to your existing ties and you come back only when you need them. Why? Why? You and your crazy ideas, your crazy behaviour, your nonsensical rants and your irrational thinking it drives drives drives others up the wall to the end into oblivion. You need to think you always have to think it gets you going you have to find the right path don't find excuses it's pathetic it's Pathetic it's PATHETIC. Get on your feet you have to find it search for it seek it. Be it.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
THE GEMINIDS ARE FALLING!!!
Whoohoo~! Hello everybody it's that time of the year again! Tomorrow happens to be the peak of the Gemini meteorite shower wheeee. It's like the most exciting event that I look forward to each year besides Christmas and New Year (because these events are spent with NINEPEE WHOOOOOO!)
I've compiled a list of necessary conditions and items to bring along while catching a meteorite shower.
1. NIGHT. Like duh. You can't see meteorites with your naked (Gawsh I lurrrve the wurd NAYKED.) eye during the day unless you're like some super being like Superman. And you've got to be somewhere dark really. At least where you can't see any light source within like 5 meters in front of you. That'd be good enough because Singapore's so heavily lit. Come to think of it the best place to be would really be at Lim Chu Kang. Not the cemetery, the campsite. It's really dark there and the best astronomical experience I'd had was there during the Secondary 3 camp.
2. CLEAR AND OPEN SKIES. This is super important because if the sky where you're at isn't clear, there's no point really, because all the meteors will be shooting by and all you'll be seeing will be clouds. Also no point if your entire view of the sky can be blocked by the back of a hobbit's hand. Okay I have no idea why I used that analogy, but anyway, you need a big sky.
3. GROUNDSHEETS. This would be absolutely necessary unless you have a better alternative like a sofa or a bed or a sofabed. Oh well. Nah that's rubbish why would you find any bed-like item in a dark open place? Ooh. Kinky. But anyway, groundsheets are vital because they're meant to be spread on the ground for you to lie on. It can be tiring having to bend your head skywards for the duration of the night. Trust me I've been there. JUST LIE ON THE BLOODY GROUND.
4. WARM CLOTHES. No you really wouldn't want to freeze under the sky. It can get reeeeally reeeally cold at night. Ask the Winter Melon if you don't believe. Bring warm woolly socks too! They come in handy. Don't be lazy just do it. (HEAR THAT DONGUA?!)
5. GOOD COMPANY. whoohoo with good company, even if you aren't interested in the sky, you've got good reason to lie on the ground. Oh hoho, sorry I can't lend 9P to you guys. Go find your own.
WAHHAAHAHAHA I love lists. Anyway you should be discerning in whatever you read to judge for yourself what is rubbish and what isn't. Basically I'm rubbish. But that doesn't mean that every single thing I say is rubbish. Okay I think I'm emotionally unstable I should so totally go and be a Goth. ;) Okay that was rubbish.
ENJOY THE GEMINIDS!!!!!!!
I've compiled a list of necessary conditions and items to bring along while catching a meteorite shower.
1. NIGHT. Like duh. You can't see meteorites with your naked (Gawsh I lurrrve the wurd NAYKED.) eye during the day unless you're like some super being like Superman. And you've got to be somewhere dark really. At least where you can't see any light source within like 5 meters in front of you. That'd be good enough because Singapore's so heavily lit. Come to think of it the best place to be would really be at Lim Chu Kang. Not the cemetery, the campsite. It's really dark there and the best astronomical experience I'd had was there during the Secondary 3 camp.
2. CLEAR AND OPEN SKIES. This is super important because if the sky where you're at isn't clear, there's no point really, because all the meteors will be shooting by and all you'll be seeing will be clouds. Also no point if your entire view of the sky can be blocked by the back of a hobbit's hand. Okay I have no idea why I used that analogy, but anyway, you need a big sky.
3. GROUNDSHEETS. This would be absolutely necessary unless you have a better alternative like a sofa or a bed or a sofabed. Oh well. Nah that's rubbish why would you find any bed-like item in a dark open place? Ooh. Kinky. But anyway, groundsheets are vital because they're meant to be spread on the ground for you to lie on. It can be tiring having to bend your head skywards for the duration of the night. Trust me I've been there. JUST LIE ON THE BLOODY GROUND.
4. WARM CLOTHES. No you really wouldn't want to freeze under the sky. It can get reeeeally reeeally cold at night. Ask the Winter Melon if you don't believe. Bring warm woolly socks too! They come in handy. Don't be lazy just do it. (HEAR THAT DONGUA?!)
5. GOOD COMPANY. whoohoo with good company, even if you aren't interested in the sky, you've got good reason to lie on the ground. Oh hoho, sorry I can't lend 9P to you guys. Go find your own.
WAHHAAHAHAHA I love lists. Anyway you should be discerning in whatever you read to judge for yourself what is rubbish and what isn't. Basically I'm rubbish. But that doesn't mean that every single thing I say is rubbish. Okay I think I'm emotionally unstable I should so totally go and be a Goth. ;) Okay that was rubbish.
ENJOY THE GEMINIDS!!!!!!!
Friday, December 08, 2006
People In Life 1
--- Carolyn is my sister. She's eight years older than me, and most of the time people react to this by raising their eyebrows and remarking "Wah, the age gap so big ah?" She's pretty, and this is confirmed by all the stares she gets from men and women alike when she goes on the streets. Carolyn is a Christmas baby, and that makes her all the more special to me. I always tell her how lucky she is to receive twice the presents on her birthday, and she always pretends to cry and say "Boohoo who on their birthday still must give presents to other people one?"
When we were young we used to play and quarrel. We don't quarrel now, not at all and I think it's amazing. We still call each other names like idiot and moron for fun, and she behaves like a kid most of the time when we're together. haha. We still game on the xbox together, and yes we do things together. She has Joe now, the guy she's going to get married to, and I think they're going to be really happy together. Occasionally I feel neglected because she's always out with Joe, (the past two weeks when Joe was in Australia was the most homey she's ever been in a very long time) but it is always made up with bonding sessions in each others' room.
People tell me that she and I are extraordinarily close, but most of the time I just think to myself "This is how sisters should be." Carolyn guides me through life. She's always there to advise me on tough stuff. She has expectations of me, and more often then not I think I fail them, being the big loser that I always have been. Sigh. More and more I feel like she's shaping my life. I don't mean it in a bad way, in fact I think the future seems more secure like that, but sometimes I do feel like she's moulding my life in her footsteps. And maybe that's not what I really want. I always tell her not to pay for my meals and movie tickets and karaoke expenses when we go out but she still does it anyway, even though she's currently saving up for her wedding next year. I guess to her I'll always be her kid sister and to me she'll always be my dajie. I feel a tinge of sadness when I think of her wedding and I know it will be soon that she moves out and start a new phase of her life. But I'm happy that she can finally get that pet dog we both have been wanting! Haha. And on top of that I'm happy that she can finally really lead a life of her own, and start a family.
There's so much more about her that I can go on about but...
I LOVE MY SISTER!
That just sums up all that I have to say.
When we were young we used to play and quarrel. We don't quarrel now, not at all and I think it's amazing. We still call each other names like idiot and moron for fun, and she behaves like a kid most of the time when we're together. haha. We still game on the xbox together, and yes we do things together. She has Joe now, the guy she's going to get married to, and I think they're going to be really happy together. Occasionally I feel neglected because she's always out with Joe, (the past two weeks when Joe was in Australia was the most homey she's ever been in a very long time) but it is always made up with bonding sessions in each others' room.
People tell me that she and I are extraordinarily close, but most of the time I just think to myself "This is how sisters should be." Carolyn guides me through life. She's always there to advise me on tough stuff. She has expectations of me, and more often then not I think I fail them, being the big loser that I always have been. Sigh. More and more I feel like she's shaping my life. I don't mean it in a bad way, in fact I think the future seems more secure like that, but sometimes I do feel like she's moulding my life in her footsteps. And maybe that's not what I really want. I always tell her not to pay for my meals and movie tickets and karaoke expenses when we go out but she still does it anyway, even though she's currently saving up for her wedding next year. I guess to her I'll always be her kid sister and to me she'll always be my dajie. I feel a tinge of sadness when I think of her wedding and I know it will be soon that she moves out and start a new phase of her life. But I'm happy that she can finally get that pet dog we both have been wanting! Haha. And on top of that I'm happy that she can finally really lead a life of her own, and start a family.
There's so much more about her that I can go on about but...
I LOVE MY SISTER!
That just sums up all that I have to say.
Friday, November 24, 2006
Don't blame me, it's a hardware problem.
Hi guys! Here's what you missed out in my life when I was busy with the evil exams.
1st November 2006 - Death Note.
Death Note is an amazing movie because there wasn't a single moment that I actually felt sleepy while watching it. Well I say this because recently the movies that have been showing in theatres have been disappointingly... well, how do I put this, let's just say that I have been nodding off in them against my will. But on second thoughts it might just have been me insisting on going for movies when I obviously am sleep deprived. But then again I was too for Death Note and I didn't even once yawn during the movie. DUDE that is what I call a captivating plot.
Well movies have a great impact on me because sobs sobs, I'm so sentimental. :( (Even now I still cry when I watch Spider-Man 2, and it's not because of the Chinese woman's singing) I found Initial D so good that I watched it thrice. And bought the VCD. Which will probably be upgraded to a DVD. And NO, I assure you it's NOT BECAUSE OF JAY CHOU!!! (okay maybe like 98% of it is, but I'm not that superficial okay, there're other factors too. Like say Edison Chen and oh, Shawn Yue. See.) No but seriously, Jay Chou is losing his thing. Have you seen how he looks like in his newest movie "The curse of the Golden Flower?" (DUDE JUST LEAVE THE FRINGE ALONE!! LEAVE IT ALONE!!!!) or maybe people in olden days didn't have fringes. But if you catch no ball go check it out okay? :)
Ah back to Death Note, it's a cool movie. It's cool really, because it has a part II, and usually movies with part IIs are cool. Think Matrix, The Grudge and check this out -- Pirates of the Caribbean! Whoohoo welcome to the league.
Honestly when I first read the synopsis for the movie I actually didn't see anything wrong with the protagonist Light going around killing criminals. Now I'm terrified(! pertrified! stupefied!) by the thought of what would have happened if the Death Note(book) actually ended up with me. Of course I'm no genius like Light and L, and I probably wouldn't even think about the greater good of Mankind, and start killing people that I don't like. Wahahha. POWER SUPREME here I come!!! Think of all the things I could do! (Or rather all the people I can rid the world of)
1) I could kill the next person I see on television trying to advertise for slimming products with gaudy advertising methods.
2) I could kill the dog that constantly leaves poo mines around on the corridor.
3) Best of all, I could kill the irritating eyebrow-trimming-yellow-skinsuit-Singapore-Idol-reject who has attacked me twice in Orchard Road, offering to trim my eyebrows therefore insinuating that I have ugly brows, (which I do by the way) and get rid of him once and for all! MUAHAHAH.
No I was just kidding when I said all of that. Firstly, I do not have the Death Note(book) with me. Although I might actually be retarded enough to create my own, but that's just me and my mundane retard antics. Secondly I'm a advert-cum-dog-cum-man lover, and therefore wouldn't dream of doing a thing to them. Ha, but I may kill women to increase the man:woman ratio. (more men more men!) Nah just kidding, I love women too. Oops did I really just say that. Oh whatever. Thirdly, L from the movie is too hot for words. Okay that brings us back to why Death Note is a good movie to catch.
Oh and Exiled is a good movie too because FRANCIS NG is in it! DUDE. WHOO. Sizzling hot. You know all these years I've been having this major crush on Francis Ng but haven't told anybody until recently partly because I know that their first reaction's gonna be "OH that man who ALWAYS acts in PSYCHOTIC ROLES?" and a part of me will grudgingly admit "Yeeeeess... he alwaaaays acts in psychotiiiic roooles" but SO WHAT?! He's charismatic and good looking and I SO LOVE HIM! XD (ah. that finally off my chest.) Yes, in Exiled he was exceptionally hot. Drools. And besides hot eyecandy there's sex and violence too. That's what I call a good movie. Ahhaha no it's actually about friendship (plus the sex and the violence) and I found it touching so I cried.
okay and I'm getting bored. Stay tuned though to my upcoming series! - People in my Life.
1st November 2006 - Death Note.
Death Note is an amazing movie because there wasn't a single moment that I actually felt sleepy while watching it. Well I say this because recently the movies that have been showing in theatres have been disappointingly... well, how do I put this, let's just say that I have been nodding off in them against my will. But on second thoughts it might just have been me insisting on going for movies when I obviously am sleep deprived. But then again I was too for Death Note and I didn't even once yawn during the movie. DUDE that is what I call a captivating plot.
Well movies have a great impact on me because sobs sobs, I'm so sentimental. :( (Even now I still cry when I watch Spider-Man 2, and it's not because of the Chinese woman's singing) I found Initial D so good that I watched it thrice. And bought the VCD. Which will probably be upgraded to a DVD. And NO, I assure you it's NOT BECAUSE OF JAY CHOU!!! (okay maybe like 98% of it is, but I'm not that superficial okay, there're other factors too. Like say Edison Chen and oh, Shawn Yue. See.) No but seriously, Jay Chou is losing his thing. Have you seen how he looks like in his newest movie "The curse of the Golden Flower?" (DUDE JUST LEAVE THE FRINGE ALONE!! LEAVE IT ALONE!!!!) or maybe people in olden days didn't have fringes. But if you catch no ball go check it out okay? :)
Ah back to Death Note, it's a cool movie. It's cool really, because it has a part II, and usually movies with part IIs are cool. Think Matrix, The Grudge and check this out -- Pirates of the Caribbean! Whoohoo welcome to the league.
Honestly when I first read the synopsis for the movie I actually didn't see anything wrong with the protagonist Light going around killing criminals. Now I'm terrified(! pertrified! stupefied!) by the thought of what would have happened if the Death Note(book) actually ended up with me. Of course I'm no genius like Light and L, and I probably wouldn't even think about the greater good of Mankind, and start killing people that I don't like. Wahahha. POWER SUPREME here I come!!! Think of all the things I could do! (Or rather all the people I can rid the world of)
1) I could kill the next person I see on television trying to advertise for slimming products with gaudy advertising methods.
2) I could kill the dog that constantly leaves poo mines around on the corridor.
3) Best of all, I could kill the irritating eyebrow-trimming-yellow-skinsuit-Singapore-Idol-reject who has attacked me twice in Orchard Road, offering to trim my eyebrows therefore insinuating that I have ugly brows, (which I do by the way) and get rid of him once and for all! MUAHAHAH.
No I was just kidding when I said all of that. Firstly, I do not have the Death Note(book) with me. Although I might actually be retarded enough to create my own, but that's just me and my mundane retard antics. Secondly I'm a advert-cum-dog-cum-man lover, and therefore wouldn't dream of doing a thing to them. Ha, but I may kill women to increase the man:woman ratio. (more men more men!) Nah just kidding, I love women too. Oops did I really just say that. Oh whatever. Thirdly, L from the movie is too hot for words. Okay that brings us back to why Death Note is a good movie to catch.
Oh and Exiled is a good movie too because FRANCIS NG is in it! DUDE. WHOO. Sizzling hot. You know all these years I've been having this major crush on Francis Ng but haven't told anybody until recently partly because I know that their first reaction's gonna be "OH that man who ALWAYS acts in PSYCHOTIC ROLES?" and a part of me will grudgingly admit "Yeeeeess... he alwaaaays acts in psychotiiiic roooles" but SO WHAT?! He's charismatic and good looking and I SO LOVE HIM! XD (ah. that finally off my chest.) Yes, in Exiled he was exceptionally hot. Drools. And besides hot eyecandy there's sex and violence too. That's what I call a good movie. Ahhaha no it's actually about friendship (plus the sex and the violence) and I found it touching so I cried.
okay and I'm getting bored. Stay tuned though to my upcoming series! - People in my Life.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
My Mind's a Whirlwind.
The dashboard tells me that the last time I'd updated was on the 19th of September. It feels like such a long time ago now. Hello everybody, it's been a while hasn't it?
I've been having bouts of melancholia and diarrhoea. No, and it isn't because of the diarrhoea that I've been feeling melancholy. The diarrhoea made me feel terrible and the melancholia made me feel... well, melancholy. :(
I'm stumped as to why I've been feeling this way of late. It could be because
1) it's nearing That Time of The Month
Which I think is highly likely considering that I haven't had my period in about 2 months. Gasp, now you know I'm irregular, and that I lose the delicate balance that exists among the moods. But it's not that I like it. I'm irritated that I can be ridiculously happy one moment, and get upset the next at the slightest nuance, like when Phillip speaks too loudly, or when Bessie asks me whether I'd like a Kinder Bueno. EVERYTHING SIMPLY JARS ON MY NERVES.
2) a large majority of my friends have finished their papers, leaving me to wallow in the misery from waiting for that darned last paper on friday.
And it really does not help that one of them keeps messaging me about her After-Exams Plans, asking me if I'd like to learn yoga, or jazz dance, or whether I've got any job offers to recommend her, or that she's really bored right now, even when I've made it very clear that HEY, I'VE STILL GOT ONE BLOODY PAPER LEFT (SO JUST LEAVE ME ALONE TO SUFFOCATE AND DIE AMONG MY BOOKS). Nah I didn't say that but I did tell her that I really have to study for this last paper. (Read: So can we leave your plans till the end of my exam?) And the next thing she messages me about is that she saw her eyecandy. Talk about being insensitive. YEA SO WHAT IF I'M EXHIBITING "SOUR GRAPES" BEHAVIOUR?! Like seriously, I'm just not in the mood to think about taking up jazz. Or yoga. Or whatever. (Okay my parents are irritating me just by sitting there laughing. Shoot I should just move out or something.)
3) I have a very strong feeling that I'm going to flunk the exams.
I know what you're going to say. "Things won't turn out to be as bad as they seem." Hey that's like my line so go get your own line. Who am I trying to kid? Like what, I've got powers to predict the future and I see you in smiles after getting your result slip so I can actually tell you that things won't turn out to be as bad as they seem? Nah, get real. Things are as bad as they seem, and I don't see me getting into a University of my choice, or any University at all.
Okay I can't continue because I'm feeling really lousy right now. And it doesn't help that if I sit and cry in front of the computer Bessie's going to call me a psycho for sure. I hate it that I can't even cry in peace. Like hell, do your parents knock on the door when it's locked and demand to know what's happening even after you've told them to fucking leave you alone and when you ignore them they actually get angry? Why, not that I'm crying now I only cry on special occasions (dang I can never spell that word)
Okay on second thoughts I'm feeling a little better now and not as lousy as before so I think I'll just hang around. I think I shall play Phillip's XBox late into the night tonight. And oh man I can so so predict the two of them waking up and asking me to go and sleep. Damn. You know there's currently so much angry energy that Misery is creating in me that I think I've really become psychotic. I shall get a tattoo. Or a piercing. Or maybe I'll just content myself with killing people in the TV screen.
Help! I need help!
This isn't really me. You know it don't you.
I should be a hermit.
I've been having bouts of melancholia and diarrhoea. No, and it isn't because of the diarrhoea that I've been feeling melancholy. The diarrhoea made me feel terrible and the melancholia made me feel... well, melancholy. :(
I'm stumped as to why I've been feeling this way of late. It could be because
1) it's nearing That Time of The Month
Which I think is highly likely considering that I haven't had my period in about 2 months. Gasp, now you know I'm irregular, and that I lose the delicate balance that exists among the moods. But it's not that I like it. I'm irritated that I can be ridiculously happy one moment, and get upset the next at the slightest nuance, like when Phillip speaks too loudly, or when Bessie asks me whether I'd like a Kinder Bueno. EVERYTHING SIMPLY JARS ON MY NERVES.
2) a large majority of my friends have finished their papers, leaving me to wallow in the misery from waiting for that darned last paper on friday.
And it really does not help that one of them keeps messaging me about her After-Exams Plans, asking me if I'd like to learn yoga, or jazz dance, or whether I've got any job offers to recommend her, or that she's really bored right now, even when I've made it very clear that HEY, I'VE STILL GOT ONE BLOODY PAPER LEFT (SO JUST LEAVE ME ALONE TO SUFFOCATE AND DIE AMONG MY BOOKS). Nah I didn't say that but I did tell her that I really have to study for this last paper. (Read: So can we leave your plans till the end of my exam?) And the next thing she messages me about is that she saw her eyecandy. Talk about being insensitive. YEA SO WHAT IF I'M EXHIBITING "SOUR GRAPES" BEHAVIOUR?! Like seriously, I'm just not in the mood to think about taking up jazz. Or yoga. Or whatever. (Okay my parents are irritating me just by sitting there laughing. Shoot I should just move out or something.)
3) I have a very strong feeling that I'm going to flunk the exams.
I know what you're going to say. "Things won't turn out to be as bad as they seem." Hey that's like my line so go get your own line. Who am I trying to kid? Like what, I've got powers to predict the future and I see you in smiles after getting your result slip so I can actually tell you that things won't turn out to be as bad as they seem? Nah, get real. Things are as bad as they seem, and I don't see me getting into a University of my choice, or any University at all.
Okay I can't continue because I'm feeling really lousy right now. And it doesn't help that if I sit and cry in front of the computer Bessie's going to call me a psycho for sure. I hate it that I can't even cry in peace. Like hell, do your parents knock on the door when it's locked and demand to know what's happening even after you've told them to fucking leave you alone and when you ignore them they actually get angry? Why, not that I'm crying now I only cry on special occasions (dang I can never spell that word)
Okay on second thoughts I'm feeling a little better now and not as lousy as before so I think I'll just hang around. I think I shall play Phillip's XBox late into the night tonight. And oh man I can so so predict the two of them waking up and asking me to go and sleep. Damn. You know there's currently so much angry energy that Misery is creating in me that I think I've really become psychotic. I shall get a tattoo. Or a piercing. Or maybe I'll just content myself with killing people in the TV screen.
Help! I need help!
This isn't really me. You know it don't you.
I should be a hermit.
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